Robot vs Empathy Dragon - Which type of an aid worker am I?

Which type of an aid worker am I? I was in a visioning meeting, for a new and growing NGO, and one of the presenters said that there are two types of aid workers- the emotionally invested and the professional. The professionals are the MSW's (Masters in Social Work degree holders) and the PhD's. The emotionally invested are the ones who have been victims of the issue that they are working against or at times people who are just incredibly passionate about the issue (empathy dragons).

So which one am I? I would like to answer that question a little later. At first I would like to look at the advantages and disadvantages of being one or the other. The professional has many advantages, because being dispassionate has its perks. In the hindi movie 'Munna Bhai MBBS' Boman Irani plays a professor who tells his students something like- "it is better not to have an emotionally connect with the patient. I have performed thousands of surgeries and never have my hands shivered. But if I were to operate on my daughter, will my hands be steady?"

In other words, he is making a plea- do not get close to your patient. This is especially required in an aid worker's world because it can be increasingly frustrating when the people we work for tend to continue down their downward spiral, regardless of the aid workers so called 'implementation'. Children go missing in a community where the aid worker has diligently set up a 'Child Protection Unit.' After all the awareness programs and nutritional supplements distributions- children continue to be malnourished. And in my case...

Being dispassionate also mean that the aid worker will have a work life balance. In a country like India, where the population is very high- the 'beneficiaries' or the 'clients' just keep coming. The queue is always long. It is better to shut shop after 6pm and leave even if some things remain unresolved. This view is like a double edged sword- one end the aid worker will get blamed for becoming numb and callous, yet at the other end is physical and psychological burn out. You rev an engine too much without giving it rest and without oiling - the engine will break. What use is a broken engine?

At this juncture I would like to talk about Sharmila (name changed). Sharmila is living with HIV and has been an advocate for women and children who are living with HIV, for many years now. She is incredibly dedicated and hard working. Even though she needs medical attention herself, she has never let that be an excuse. Her drive propels her to give solidarity to people living with HIV regardless of the distances and time involved. But I have seen her visible drained at times and frustrated more than once. To the casual observer she may seem like a loose cannon who erupts in anger and lets off steam by ranting about obscure and irrelevant things. She is always questioning the dedication of the professional social worker.

Can there be a middle ground? A bit of emotional investment and passion is good. Too much of it and you lose moral high ground in many arguments and people will think you are not professional enough to make sane and unbiased decisions. Too little of it- and I have seen people like that, people who work for a promotion and a raise- too little of it, and you become a robot who lacks empathy. The humanity in you is lost to the hustle of a material life. Just another beneficiary, just another OVC (orphan and vulnerable child)...

So which type am I? That is an article for another day.