Headlines to make people read/watch stuff on social media, because everyone is an idiot

1. He ran out of tissues while he was in the loo, what he used to wipe his bum will make you sob like Katrina's ex boyfriend
2. His shoe buckle did not buckle, what he did next will surprise you
3. This cute dog died five years ago, what happened to its carcass will make you whine like a cat
4. He sneezed phlegm onto his cereal bowl, how the bowl reacted will make you cry
5. He slipped into a coma while trying to find a missing sock, what his missing sock was doing will make you cringe
6. His motorbike would not start in the first kick, what he did next will reduce you to tears
7. He left his wife for a wild buffalo a year ago, how his children look like now, will make you smile
8. He lost his testicles in a freak zipping accident, how he cried in pain will make you laugh out loud