Wednesday, May 7, 2014

EPL washing machine 2013-14

The famous Gerraldian slip just being one of them, the twists and turns the premiere league has encountered this season has been nothing short of a washing machine churning clothes. The fight to reach the top, the top four and the fight to avoid the drop has left viewers gasping for breath, entwined in an emotional cocktail of dupatta dreams and pyjama nightmares.

It began even before the season had begun, with Sir Alex retiring and appointing david moyes his successor. Early notes of a journalist will reflect on how Liverpool and Man united managed poorly in the transfer market with key targets snubbing moves, and how brilliantly Arsenel, after failing with Suarez, tugged at Ozil who consented to be the next big thing. Journalist notes reflect briefly on the money spent by Chelsea and Man City on players for positions they already have a slurpus of. Sort of like Paris Hilton's next pair of shoes, she simply does not need them. Chelsea bought Willian for 30 million even though they needed a striker a lot more, and City kept on buying strikers. If they had retained tevez and adebayor they might have built a team entirely of strikers. Pellegrini promised to win all the cups in the queen's kitchen and he may after all win the EPL crown this season.

In the beginning

Both the Manchester teams start slow, but Liverpool's early ascendance to the top was rather surprising. They had won four in a row and that too without Suarez. But after the initial flourish, it was Arsenel who blazed their way to the top after an initial slip with a 1-3 loss to Aston Villa at home. The home crowd booed them off, they wanted a hero and Arsene simply refused to sign one... till he signed Ozil for close to 50mill. Ozil seemed like a crocodile at times, his emotions and effort barely noticeable. Sort of like Berbatov after he drank half a bottle of Benadril and then filled his belly with a full can of red bull. Stunning laziness which suddenly sparked with a deadly pass that would result in a goal. Arsenel had to be stopped and they were stopped by Chelsea, who parked the bus at the Emirites. Ring a bell? Anfield? The Gerraldian slip?
THE GUNNERS WIN ROUND ONE

Then a bit later
Mourinho announces that after an initial slump, he needs to stop being a philosopher and become more of a Manmohan Singh. Park the bus with big opponents, cagely attack small opposition, no risk, no janjhat. It worked. Come 2014 he beat Man City at the City of Manchestor stadium, with Hart's metaphorical slip and Torres scoring. Mourinho went to Phase-2, mind games of malformed studds and stallions. It worked, he got under everyone's skin- at one point he called Arsene a failure. Really? My Manmohan Singh analogy falls flat on its face with Phase-2. Mr.Singh never called anyone a failure (gasp).
CHELSEA WIN ROUND TWO

Even later
S A S A S
Suarez, Sturridge and Sterling made Anfield rain goals, it was like Chennai in the monsoon of 2005. The flooding of opponent half with the red torrent, of pace and trickery created some of the most spectacular goals. Watch the four goals at West Brom early on, the six at Cardiff, the three at the theatre of dreams. Sterling's race down the flanks, Suarez's dives (atleast he did not bite anyone this season), Coutinho's killer passes, Sturridges touches and Stevie's vision sort of coincided with the decline in spectaculor fashion of Manchestor United. The loss of Carrick's vision, the loss of pace/trickery of united wingers, the lethal swing of Van Persie's boot nonexistent and Wayne Rooney's err stomach cramps? It's not all the players fault though. A TV presenter spelt it out briefly and accurately- "Moyes had United's wide men playing narrow." Liverpool went on a long unbeaten run till someone parked the bus again. And even while they were winning so many they were conceding a lot of poor goals because of nervousness. Perhaps Baba Ramdev's Yoga would have cured them of this and other afflictions.
LIVERPOOL WIN ROUND THREE AND ALMOST TAKE THE FINAL ROUND

Final Round
After crashing out from the Champions League and FA cup, Man City have hit form at the right time. Even though they lost to Liverpool at Anfield, they seem a more mature side which is used to being at the top. They will not leave a 3-0 lead slip for instance, and nervous they are not. The millions spent on player wage have not gone completely to waste, they have Mourinho of all people talking about financial fair play. While the other teams have super heroes, man city have two for each position- Dzeko and Aguero, Toure and Silva, Kompany and Zabaletta. I am reminded of that famous hindi film dialogue- Mere pass sub kuch hai, tumhare pass kya hai? (I have everything, what do you have?).
Mourinho's Answer- Mere pass Ba hai.
WINNER TO BE DECIDED

Don't miss the finale on star sports 1 and 4- this sunday 7.20pm (no busses to be parked).


Photo credit- Tom Jenkins (http://www.theguardian.com/football/gallery/2014/apr/27/premier-league-liverpool-chelsea-in-pictures?picture=435441402)

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